Flow

Getting a story to "flow" is the hardest thing for young writers. Let me show you what I mean:

"Mr. Vines said no mustard. Mrs. Vines said she didn't put any mustard on his sandwich. He was going to tell the police that a strange thing has happened today that his daughter is missing and a ghost put mustard on his sandwich."

How do you get from mustard on your sandwich to talking to the police about your missing daughter in one sentence???

"Then he set off to go and find his parents. Party because he was hungry and couldn't find anything good to eat and also because he loved them so much he couldn't bear to live without them."

Parents! You are important! Your kids would not be able to find anything to eat if you were kidnapped.

"They found out that were using the caterpillars to try and kidnap her! So he got taken to jail and was never seen again! Later that year she found out that she had cancer!"

Man, that is some bad luck! You find some cute caterpillars that turn out to be trying to kidnap you, then you find out you have cancer? All in two sentences!

Invented Spelling

One of the joys of teaching.... invented spelling....

Remember that these are from fourth grade students (ages 9-10)

"ene"--- any

"hithe"--- height

"ysuly"--- usually

"ossem"--- awesome

"toulk"--- took

What makes a good loser, and are you one?

"No I am not a loser"

I don't think they understood the question! More than one student wrote responses like this!

What's the first thing you'd do if you were President?

"Make the cinnamin rolls bigger"

"Build a reptile house at the white house"

"I would sleep a long time"

"I would give every poor person a big fat check!"

"I'd want $1,000,000,000"

"I would eat chocolate bars."

"If I were President, the first thing I would do is quit my job as President."

How will you know when you're "grown up"?

"When will I know I'm a grown up is when I have kids, have a husband, when I'm over 18 years old, and have my own house. That's pretty much how I know I'm a adult. Like if I have my own house."

"You will know when you are bigger. I think that because grown-ups are really tall."

When is it ok to lie?

"Never! You should never lie, or know one will believe you. George Washington never lied. Abraham Lincoln never lied. Pretty much a quarter of the presidents never lied. So how does it make it fair for you to lie. .... Ever heard of the boy who cried wolf. He lied. Look what that got him into."

"It's ok to lie when someone makes something for you and you don't like you say thank you. Once I got something that my mom made. It wasn't very good. I still said thank you. So yes, sometimes its ok to lie."

Does your life feel too busy or not busy enough?

"My life feels too busy. Because my parents are depending on me to take care of their facebooks."

"My life does feel way busy. I have a lot of stuff going on everyday. I have Oprah Mondays and Wednesdays. Also after Oprah on Mondays, I go to piano and I have activity days on Tuesday. So my life is plenty busy."

What's the best cure for homesickness?

"The best way to cure homesickness is to lie down and take medication. If you lie down, know one will be kneer you, so they can't get sick. And if you take medication, your sickness could be cured."

*Note:
A surprisingly few students actually knew what homesickness was. Many thought it was some kind of ailment that could be cured with rest and Tylenol.

If you had three wishes, what would they be?

"If I had three wishes these are what they would be. The first thing I would wish is to have a pet dog. The second thing I would wish is that the land lord would let us have a dog. The third thing I would wish is to be the most powerful sorceror."

What one thing would you like to know about the future?

"The one thing I want to know in the future is who I will marry. I want to see if its one of my friends thats a boy or someone new I met. If I married a sycko, or a manyack, or a robber. I want to know how nice he is or if he's good or bad. And if he's bad I'll not marry him in the future."